Ways to Request Support

Asking for support can be hard. It can also be difficult to figure out if you are able to support the person asking, especially when it isn’t clear what kinds of support are needed. I created these questions to work with any relationship to make it easier to ask for help, and to be specific about what kinds of help we want. At our home, we have them taped to the fridge. These questions also work well for requesting support around subjects that might be hard or triggering for others to hear about. These are just a starting point, take them, break them, and use them in unexpected and brilliant ways.

Initial Questions:

Do you have space and time to talk about _____?

I would like to talk about _____, how does that feel to you?

I am struggling with _____, can we talk about how you might be able to support me?

Follow-up questions:

I want logistic support around_____, do you have time and space to help me with those logistics?

I want solutions for _____, do you have space and time to help me with finding solutions?

I want unconditional emotional support around _____, but no solutions, do you have time and space to support me in this way?

I want emotional support and solutions, do you have time and space to support me in this way?

I want physical intimacy/cuddles and emotional support while I talk about_____ , do you have time and space to do that with me now?